And Now For Something Completely Different

Books. Let's talk about books today. I have a lot of books. And a small apartment. It is VERY rare that I re-read books, simply because there are too many other good books to read. So they pile up all over my tiny, rat filled abode. And then I came across PaperbackSwap.com this week. Finally, an answer to my quickly running out of floor space problem. I can post my books on the site and people will actually take them off my hands! Genius! Of course I have to pay to mail them but media mail for most paperbacks is only $2.96.

For each book I mail out I get one credit. I can use those credits to request books from other people. Of course I don't really want any more books since I'm not even close to finishing the ones I have. But they don't have to know that. For those of you who DO want books you might want to look into joining (it's free to join). They currently have over four million books available for swapping. Yes. FOUR MILLION. The thing I like most about "the club" is that you can print off your mailing label along with postage and delivery confirmation right from the site. You just Paypal a couple bucks into your account and voila! Or you can print off your mailing label without anything but the address on it and go to the Post Office. But really, who the heck wants to do that? I'm telling you, pretty soon you'll actually be able to walk around in my teensy weensy place!

Woo. Hoo. Hat # 3

Let me tell you, it's all about the numbers here at Chez Insanity. I'm walking a fine line between production knitting and trying to knit attractive hats / scarves / what have you. As much as I would like to crank out something different every day just to fill the need I really want to make stuff that someone would be proud to wear. But then I come across people who are whipping out hats at an alarming rate and *le sigh*, I am torn again.

I think this hat sort of fits the bill. It was fast (by my standards) but it's still kinda cute. This is the BasicSimpleLazy Hat (Rav link) from Yarn Ball Boogie. I used Queensland Collection Super Aussie which is a worsted weight superwash merino. It's dirt cheap, I think I paid maybe $3.99 a ball for it from Webs, and it's rather nice stuff. I have a feeling it might have a tendency to pill but let's hope not. I used just a little over one skein (109 yards). That's a pretty inexpensive hat.

Unfortunately I knit it on 4 DPN's instead of 5 so I've got some ladder issues going on (see lower right, upper left). I won't be making that mistake again. Now I'm making mittens. I love making mittens but I hate that stupid hole when you're doing the thumb. You know that hole you get when you're picking up all the stitches to start the thumb? Yeah, that hole. But my friend Blogless CindyLouWho says she knows how to pick up the stitches for the thumb so there are no holes. Imagine! So hopefully I'll have these mittens done by next Wednesday so I can pester her at Knit Night to show me how to do it too.

My life - just one round of excitement after the next. Back to the knitting!

The Octopus Scarf

I had such high hopes for this scarf. The pattern was a lot of fun to do and really fast. In fact I had the first half done in a day. And then it struck me. I'm knitting a very long fuschia tentacle. What were supposed to be cables actually look like suckers to me. Don't they look like suckers to you?

Fortunately the scarf is reversible so instead of wearing a Sucker Scarf you could wear just a regular ol' scarf. How disappointing. I suppose if I went with a bigger hook size the cables might not be so prominent. I won't bother to link the pattern unless someone in my "blog audience" should happen to be a marine biologist, in which case an Octopus Scarf might be something they'd like. Regardless, I've added this scarf to the pile. I think this is number 11 but frankly, I have no idea.

Frequent Buyer Pot Card

Of course there could be other reasons why I think this scarf looks like a tentacle.

TGFF

Thank God for weekend football. If it wasn't for football I'd probably never get anything finished. Fortunately I've gotten into the habit of watching college football on Saturday afternoon and NFL games on Sunday afternoon. You can get a lot accomplished watching football.

Here's another hat just like the other hat I posted last week. It's the Crochet Watchman Cap (Rav link) again. I had hoped that by dropping down to an "H" hook that the hat would look a little less sloppy, maybe a bit more "refined" if a hat can be called refined. But no such luck. Thus, I have come to the conclusion that I prefer to make knitted hats even though I hate circular needles. But that's OK, because I have my wonderful Comfort Zone needles that the lovely Valerie gave me four years ago. I love my Comfort Zone needles for hats. They're bendy, they come in great colors and they're long enough that the stitches don't slip off. Did I mention they're inexpensive? A set of US 7's costs like $5.50. And a set consists of six needles.

I also finished a scarf this weekend but I'm saving that for the next post. Try to contain your excitement.

At Last ...

A picture that wasn't taken six months ago. Behold the Head Eating Hat! Poor Lydia has totally disappeared off the radar. Mind you, she does have a rather small head but still.

I tried to take a picture of myself in the mirror wearing this but I had a ridiculous look on my face in every shot. It's pretty bad when you're the photographer and you can't get a decent picture of yourself. I started another hat last night. Only this time I'm using an "H" hook. I'm hoping it will be big enough to fit someone but when it comes to me and crocheting hats it's a total crapshoot. I want to get this pattern perfected though so I can make a hat or two for the Hats For Sailors drive. I spent a lot of time out on the water when I lived in the Old Country and I know how freakin' cold it can get out there. And even though I hate this whole war business I still have an immense respect and a heck of a lot of gratitude for the people who willingly put their lives on the line every day.

This weekend I am going up against another lady in my Pine Ridge Elders group (best group on the Innernets!) to see who can make the most crocheted squares in like 48 hours. This particular individual already did a squares challenge earlier this week so she's all primed and ready to go. The lady she was competing against made 163 squares between Monday morning and Wednesday night. Can you even IMAGINE? I'm hoping to make 20. Maybe. Hopefully.

A Pictureless FO

I finished a hat last night but have no picture. So instead we have trees and clouds today.

I am very pleased with my pictureless hat. I used the Crocheted Watchman Cap (Rav link) pattern. I may call this the perfect crocheted hat pattern. But that may be just because it actually fits my super sized noggin, though it's not for me. This is one big ol' hat. I used Wool-Ease with a J hook and I think I'm gonna make the next one with an I hook since not everyone has abnormally sized heads and I want to make a bunch of these for the Rez. At times I wondered if I was actually crocheting a market bag, that's how big this hat is. However, it has a lovely brim you flip over so it's almost as though the entire hat is two layers. Definitely a winner.

In rat news, we are awaiting the arrival of another rattie to the SANCTUARY. This new arrival is coming from a medical lab so no doubt he will be completely unsocialized. I always enjoy a challenge. He has been tentatively named "Pfizer."

Blerg 'n Blah

It would be nice if I got my act together and took pictures of what I'm actually working on rather than recycling pictures I took earlier this year. Let's pretend this is an apple tree in bloom since Fall is apple season. Then we can pretend that this photo is relevant. Sort of. I miss taking pictures but it's hard to take pictures when you can't stand up for any length of time.

So on Saturday I went to Michaels because I needed some chunky weight yarn for a hat I wanted to crochet. I took my purchases and went to the boyfriend's place and started on my hat. The hat began to grow. And grow. And then it grew some more. The hat started to look like a dinner plate cozy.

Apparently Lion Brand's Thick 'N Quick yarn is not chunky, it's SUPER CHUNKY. Or SUPER BULKY. I just assumed since they had either worsted weight or Thick 'N Quick that the T 'n Q was the next level up from worsted. It seemed a reasonable assumption to me. Wrong, wrong, wrong. In a way I'm actually glad I'm wrong though because that stuff is a mother to crochet with. It's THICK. Really THICK. And I bought three flippin' balls of it.

Needless to say, I won't be making anything with this yarn. I have a ball of dark grey, medium purple and brown. It can either sit in one of my Rubbermaid containers or it can go to your house. Want it? Leave a comment. But remember - IT'S NOT CHUNKY WEIGHT.

My Favorite

Of all the scarves I've EVER knitted or crocheted this is my favorite. Given my penchant for scarves, that's saying quite a bit. This is the Yarn Harlot's One Row Scarf knit in Cascade Pastaza. If you're not familiar with this yarn, it's a single ply of 50% wool and 50% llama. I got it in the 35% off bin at Green Planet Yarn.

The only downside to this pattern is ... well it's the same row over and over again. Which makes for great T.V. watching but I'll admit, there were a few times that I nodded off while knitting. And none of that was the result of medicinal marijuana. Which I'm finding I'm not so crazy about. In any form. I may just continue to develop my Vicodin habit. I figure at the ripe old age of 50 you can have all the bad habits you want. At 60 I plan on moving to Baltimore to become a heroin addict. It's possible I've been watching The Wire too much. Best T.V. show EVER.

Moving on ... Scarves eleven and twelve are in the process of being created. I'm particularly stoked about scarf number twelve which is the Skinny Cabled Scarf (Ravelry linkage). It's kind of a fun little crocheted number that works up FAST. I guess the fact that it's "skinny" helps. I had to go up a hook size though so it's not quite so slim, 4.5 inches to be precise. I'm using some of my free Brown Sheep yarn. But now I'm wondering if it isn't more of a masculine looking scarf in which case "Raspberry Jam" might not have been a good color choice. Oh well, time will tell.

Eight And Nine

It would appear that I am addicted to the Sweet Guy Scarf. I have now crocheted four of these scarves and am looking forward to crocheting another one. And probably another one after that. And another and another ...

This one is in Lion's Brand Wool-Ease and Plymouth Yarn's "Plymouth Select" which is a 100% superwash merino. If I remember correctly it was around $12.50 a skein but the skeins are 216 yards. It comes in lots of pretty colors and is more of a light worsted.

Lion's Brand Wool-Ease times two for this scarf. I really should buy shares in Lion's Brand, with the rate I'm going through Wool-Ease. I just wish Michael's would carry more colors. Every store carries the same 12 or so colors. So I've resorted to buying from Ravelry de-stashes. If anyone has any Wool-Ease for sale, speak up!

Scarf number ten is also finished, I'm saving it for the next post. Also, please excuse the repetition of photography styling here, this taking pictures of just scarves is getting a bit tedious.

Adventures In Substance Abuse

I thought my back problems were getting better but maybe not so much. So my chiropractor said to me, "Have you considered medical marijuana for the pain?" Well no, no I hadn't. I think the last time I smoked dope was in 1983 at a Kink's concert where I got high and then promptly fell asleep. So she prepared all the paperwork because it's a complicated process this being able to legally smoke illegal drugs.

That night I got online to find a "dispensary." There are a total of 67 dispensaries in the San Jose area. The website even had reviews and menus. Menus! Back in the 70's you got what you got and you were happy with it. Of course back then an ounce was $10.00 and now it's about $365.00. I tell you, my blog is a wealth of useless information.

Wednesday I decided to go to the "store." The "store" was at the very end of a residential street. At first I wasn't sure I was in the right place. The sign in the window said, "Medical Aids - Wheelchairs / Mobility Devices / Walkers." Then I noticed there was a security guard standing inside by the door. I was pretty sure wheelchairs didn't need guarding. And as I walked into the "store" all doubt was vanished. Holy jeebus, I thought I was back at a David Bowie concert in 1980 - the place reeked of uhh ... medicine.

The receptionist had me fill out more paperwork and then told me I was good to go. The big burly security guard announced into his walkie talkie "Patient coming back," unlocked door number one, we walked down a long hall and then he unlocked door number two. High security, this drug selling business. The "medicine" was displayed in cases like you'd see in a bakery store. They even had cookies! The "budtender" (ha, isn't that cute, budtender) asked me what I was looking for. As if I would know. I told him I wanted something "nice." And I only needed a "little bit." Apparently those are not your standard drug terms these days but we finally got me settled with some "Purple Barney." Don't ask, I still don't know.

I took myself home and got out this pipe a friend had lent me for my big adventure. Back in the 70's we didn't use pipes, we rolled joints. But I was never very good at the rolling thing. After about 15 minutes and 15 matches it was obvious I wasn't very good at the pipe thing either. Nothing happened! By this time all of my Purple Barney was gone. Then I thought to myself, "Well if you can learn to knit Fair Isle on YouTube surely you can learn how to smoke a bowl." There are no videos. What the fork?

I think my pot smoking hobby isn't going to take off nearly as well as the knitting did.