WTF Wednesday Two Days Early

Quite frankly, I don't know whether to laugh or cry. So maybe someone in the blogosphere can explain this to me.

Here we have a Prada "Ruched Frame Bag." Neiman Marcus is selling this little item for $1,555.00 (and please, only three bags per customer due to the high demand). However, if you desperately want this bag you can just click on over to Bag, Borrow Or Steal and rent this puppy for $95.00 per week OR $275.00 for an entire month.

Could someone please explain to me who in the world RENTS handbags? Who would be so desperate to have a "couture bag" that they would go and rent it and pass it off as theirs? "Oh honey, did you remember to pay the purse rental this month?" Am I the only one that thinks this is a very sad, albeit small, commentary on the state of the world today? Or am I simply living on a different planet?

Try To Remain Calm

OK, let's all try to remain calm. Let's take a deep breath

Squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

No point in getting all excited about this. We're all adults here.

Woooooohooooooo!

Relax. Stay centered. Maintain a sense of propriety.

I'm soooooo excited I'm gonna DIE!

I got a weekend job at my all time favorite LYS, Knitting Arts!!!!! BOING BOING BOING BOING!!!! Yay Me! I've been wanting to work there ever since I walked through the door and now the Yarn Gods have finally smiled upon me.

On Friday my friend, Marie, who works there, e-mailed me with a heads-up that they were looking for weekend help. I e-mailed the assistant manager who told me to e-mail the manager and bim bam boom, it was done. I met with Jan, the owner, today and she told me the pay (more than I expected), the job requirements (fondle gorgeous yarn), and talked to me about my availability. I will be kind and refrain from telling you about the employee store discount because, well, I still can't quite believe it. And if I told you, you'd all hate me. I'll also refrain from telling you about the great deal if you knit for the store. You'd hate me even more.

So starting next weekend, I'll be spending my time surrounded by Rowan, Koigu, Colinette, Alchemy, Blue Sky Alpaca, Malabrigo, Manos, Karabella, you know, the usual. You want me to shut up now? Oh. OK. *Smirk*

Time for some actual knitting content. Which clever person can discern the connection between all of these knitting projects?

Eyelet Yoke Baby Cardigan

Wisp

Knitting Pure and Simple's Baby Pullover

No, I have no idea what's going on with Andy's ears either. So? Anyone? If you said, "They all contain yarn" well, that's a good guess but try a little harder. Let me give you a hint. Color. As in what the heck is going on with all this blue? I have no idea but it's getting a little dull. Perhaps I should use my EMPLOYEE STORE DISCOUNT to buy some new yarn. Hahahahahahaha. Umm, sorry.

Where The Heck Have I Been?

Oh Lordy, I am the worst blogger ever. I can't believe I haven't posted in a week. Where the heck have I been?

Well, first things first. Vive La Victor. Or something like that. When we last visited Chez Insanity there was some concern over Victor's future. As in, "This horse doesn't do what a horse should do, ergo, it needs to go." Yes, that's a little harsh, but basically that was the gist of the whole situation. By and large, everyone was very supportive in regard to the opinion that whatever decision I made was the right decision.

Like hell, I say. I was, as so many people are doing these days, looking for the quick fix. The "I'm not the problem, XYZ is the problem." But Victor, as some of you might have noticed, is a horse. That's all he knows how to be. I, on the other hand, am more or less a human. I can make changes. I can learn things. I have opposable thumbs. Or whatever it is that I have that monkeys have too. Where do I get off proclaiming to the world, "Look, I've saved a horse" three months ago and then decide, "Feh, too much work."

In Victor's very short life, everyone he's ever come in contact with has given up on him when he didn't do what they expected him to do. Do I want to be in the same group as someone who would send a horse to a feedlot to end up as dinner for someone in Europe? Pardon my langugage, fuck no. Jesus, April, give your head a shake.

Enter Pat Parelli's Natural Horsemanship. A way for humans to think like horses and a way for horses to become a little bit more human. Maybe you've heard of Natural Horsemanship if you're into horses, maybe you haven't. But I've decided to invest the time and the money to see where it'll take me and Victor The Wonder Horse. There may be a selling of some stash to finance Victor's Back To School Fund, I haven't decided that yet. I'll talk to Victor and see what he says.

So who wants to see horse pictures? Yay! Me too. I have a new riding instructor who's teaching me on her Morgan. Wonderful, wonderful horses those Morgans. So we went to a Morgan show last weekend. Here's some pics.

Beautiful, no? My instructor, Janet, took this picture which is why the poor person is almost missing their head. But we don't really care, after all we're only interested in the horse. Clickety biggity as always.

Hands down, my favorite event of the day, the Carriage Class. A time when life was much slower and horses were held in higher regard. As they should be.

Something you may not know about the Morgan, they were the favored breed of cavalry soldiers during the Civil War. They have a real "can do" attitude and are capable of living under conditions that would do most horses in.

Far and away, my favorite horse at the show. This is a tri-color Saddlebred. Yeah, he kinda creeped me out too when I first saw him. But when you get over the fact that he has two white eyes, he was beyond stunning. I can't even imagine owning a horse this exquisite. I'm pretty sure he won most of the classes he was in. That's my friend, Kat, to the right. I think she was plotting to steal him.

Knitting content next time. Pinky swear promise.

Done. Finished. Complete.

Finally. After goodness knows how many months ... it's done.

Oak Leaf And Acorn Scarf

Of course it still needs to be blocked but I'll just add it in with the other items requiring blocking. Then one night the Blocking Fairies will come and all my scarves and shawls will be officially finished! I can hardly wait. Anyway, the stats - Fearless Fibers 100% merino in fingering weight, the colorway is either "Sand And Surf" or "Surf 'N Turf", something like that. On US 6's. This was the scarf that had to be resurrected after I became a little over zealous in my removal of the thread holding my provisional cast-on in place (thanks again, Nathania!). I don't even recall when I started this project but I'm pretty sure it was last year. Ack.

So with that done, I am left with one ... No, let me start again. So with that done, I've only got ... No, hang on, I need to get this just right. NEENER, NEENER, I'VE ONLY GOT ONE WIP!!! *Smirk* That would be Wisp from the latest issue of Knitty. And it's my "at work" project. Which has left me free to cast on for this. See? I really have developed a serious issue regarding little people sweaters - I want to make them ALL.

I still can't decide if I'm knitting this because the little girl is so dang cute or whether it's because the sweater is so dang cute. Whatever. And, and, and, I'm using the yarn the pattern calls for. It's all a bit much, isn't it? But mine will be in "Violet" which is more like periwinkle, if you ask me. Also, I must say, I really like this Lion Brand Cotton Ease. It feels like a quality yarn and if you didn't already know it was 50% acrylic you may never have guessed.

Well that's it for today, knitting fans. No decision has been made on Victor, instead I'm doing my ostrich impersonation over the whole issue. This sand is kinda gritty ...

To Ka-Ching Or Not To Ka-Ching?

So. Ahem. My friend, MacKenzie, gets on Victor on Sunday to give him a little exercise and to see how he's coming along with his riding skills.

Together they spend almost the entire time going ... backwards. Around and around the turn-out pen they go. In reverse. Victor doesn't want to go forward, he wants to go backwards. Usually, horses hate to be backed up since they can't see what's behind them. This is obviously not a problem with Victor.

I guess now we know why Victor's racing career wasn't that successful, eh? It's hard to win a race if you're going in the opposite direction from the rest of the horses.

So, knitting fans, we are at a crossroads. What do we do with Victor? The girl who was training him is leaving my barn next week for a new job. This means I would need to send Victor off-site to a trainer. Generally you send your horse for a 30, 60 or 90 day period and the trainer works with him for an hour each day. Your horse also stays there, it's not like "school" where you see them off on the bus each morning and they come back at the end of the day. I've found one trainer who's worked with off track Thoroughbreds before. She offers a discount to any horses that came from the place I got Victor at. A discount of $350. When the discount is that much it makes me frightened to ask what the full price will be.

However, I'd really like a horse I can ride. Now that Victor is fattened up and his feet are good, do we send him back to Thoroughbred Friends in the hopes that someone who can train him will adopt him?

Or do I continue to pay board, buy supplements and put shoes on a very large pet?

Any horsey people out there with any wonderful advice? I hate making decisions like this.

Quack!

Because every baby needs a least one article of clothing with duckie buttons on it. If that's not a rule, well ... it should be. As Knitty Otter would say, "Clickety Biggity" if you really wanna see the duckies.

Finally, the grey blob of garter stitch has been transformed. There is really no good reason why this took as long as it did, since it's knit in ONE PIECE so there's only TWO SEAMS. Lordy. Anyway, this is the One-Stitch Baby Sweater from Lion Brand. Knit, not in Cotton Ease like the pattern called for, but Plymouth Encore worsted which is 75% acrylic and 25% wool. It took a whole 2 balls and a bit to do up. I knit it on US 7's because I wanted it to be a bit denser. It's actually more like a jacket than a sweater.

And because rows and rows of grey garter stitch are horribly boring appearance wise (and knit wise, if the truth be known) I single crocheted around the edges with some Lion Brand Microspun. I'm giving this to my co-worker, Iris, for her new grandson. She's the only person I know with a new baby in her life so she gets it by default.

Oh, and the mittens are done too. Let's hear it for winter knitting in July!

Welcome To Los Altos

My apologies to anyone on dial-up reading this post. It's a *little* picture heavy.

I took today off from the House Of Torture (tomorrow too!) and decided that it would be a nice day to visit Los Altos. Los Altos is one of the more exclusive areas of the Bay Area, the kind of place you'd expect retired bankers and their philanthropic wives to live. There's also an incredible number of churches for some reason. Neither of these was why I ventured down Hwy 280 though. I was off to Full Thread Ahead. I hadn't been there for a few months and wanted to see what was new.

On the way I passed the Main Street Cafe & Books. If they had yarn in this shop I'd never have to leave.

I also passed the local florist. Los Altos is actually more of a village than a city. You can tell the residents take great pride in their corner of the world. Trees line the streets and there are American flags everywhere. No Canadian ones though. They should work on that.

One of the things I like about Full Thread Ahead is they carry a lot of different yarns compared to most of the stores around here. You'd be hard pressed to find a single ball of Rowan or Debbie Bliss. And they have a wonderful wall of sock yarn.

Serious, serious droolage. I should have been more on the ball (get it, get IT? ha, that was a pun) and written down some brand names. But I didn't. So kill me.

Inspiration is everywhere, especially if you're going through a "Baby Sweater Phase" as I seem to be. Hollis Bischoff, the owner, is a delightful lady who makes you feel really welcome. I believe there was a summer camp going on while I was there as I've never seen quite so many kids in a yarn shop. However, they were all safely stowed away upstairs having a pizza for lunch while I wandered around.

Another great thing about Full Thread Ahead that I wasn't expecting? Very reasonable prices. Something relatively unheard of in Los Altos. I was so flabbergasted that I had to sit down and knit a while.

While I was working on my scarf a lady and her friend came into the shop and it was obvious the lady was a new knitter. She chose her yarn and then wanted to know if they sold something she could carry her project around in. Hollis showed her some lovely Lantern Moon bags at which point the lady turned to her friend and exclaimed, "Look, Cindy, you get to buy PURSES with this hobby!!" Ha.

Of course I bought yarn. As some of you may recall, I've been working on the Mystery Stole #3. Or at least I was. The yarn I chose just wasn't working for me color-wise. The farther along I got, the more I was sure I wanted the stole to be navy blue. Alas, I had no navy blue lace weight in the ol' stash. That has now been rectified and I guess I'll start over again.

So there you have it, knitting fans. Los Altos through the eyes of a yarn junkie.

PMS & WIP's

In a fit of PMS induced irritation last night I seem to have laid waste to a number of WIP's. What was I so irritated about? The fact that there were so MANY of them. And that assorted bags were taking over my living room. So ... I made the executive decision that anything begun prior to 2007 was going back to it's original state. Also known as a yarn cake. Oh yes, I was possessed by the need to rid myself of WIP's.

Rip, rip, rip. Wind, wind, wind. And God forbid that something should tangle into a big messy ol' knot. Because then it was deemed "cursed yarn" and introduced to the garbage can. Let us bow our heads for a moment here and mourn the death of once loved yarn. Cranky. Indeed.

However, some good did come from the purge. Resurrected AND finished - the Forest Canopy Shoulder Shawl. Not blocked of course, because I am not a blocker. But finished as far as I'm concerned. I had forgotten how much I love alpaca. And hello? There were only 8 more rows to do. Sometimes I am an eejit. This shawl has been sitting in the bottom of my knitting bag since mid-February needing but 8 rows to become a shawl. I also came across a Fetching fingerless glove that needs ... a thumb. One thumb and I have a pair. I am also one thumb away from having a pair of Lion Brand Magic Stripes mittens. Does anyone notice a trend here?

Next up, the completion of the Grey Baby Sweater. We won't discuss how little needs to be done before that's finished as well.

In Victor news, last night Victor made his debut as a riding horse. Yes, he did. He will now be known as "Mr. Pokey." There I was, with my heart in my throat as little Kat, who is all of 16, jumped into the saddle. I was so sure he was going to turn into a rodeo horse. I kept telling Kat's Mom, "If she dies, say you'll forgive me." And then Kat said, "Walk, Victor." And Victor reached around and licked her boots. "C'mon, Victor, walk." Nibble the toes on the other boot. Finally after about 5 minutes of prodding, Victor wandered around the ring a few times. Then Lauren, aka "Velcro Ass", got on and away they went, gracefully trotting around the turnout pen. He's such a dork. But a good dork.

Love At First Stitch

We're Mystery Stole-ing here at Chez Insanity. And having a mighty fun time. Here are the first 74 rows which leaves 26 more rows for Clue 1.

If you haven't joined Mystery Stole 3, well what are you waiting for? Can 4,000 people be wrong? Melanie is closing sign-ups in 2 days! OK, so maybe my picture isn't the best advertisement for this pattern but I was too lazy to pin it all out.

This is a bit more accurate picture of the actual color of the yarn. I'm using Fearless Fiber's 100% merino laceweight in the "Miracle" colorway. As in, "It'll be a Miracle if I finish this stole." On size US 5's. I think I've got a good balance between the yarn overs and the stockinette portion with this size. Ha. What a crock. Truth be told, I did't even bother to swatch. I just pulled out the needles that were the pointiest.

Is this tiny fellow adorable or what? It's an Owl Finch. When I was in PetsMart on Sunday they had some of these and I fell in love with their cute little faces. They come from Australia. If I'd known this before I could have asked Valerie to pick me up one when she was there visiting. As opposed to spending $95.00 which is what PetsMart wants for them. Plus the little Care Sheet for them said they prefer to be in groups. That's a pretty pricey colony. Oh well, finches and Andy would probably be a really bad idea, anyway.

Besides, I want a bunny.

Happy Fourth of July to all the Americans and happy hump day to the Canadians!

Happy Canada Day

Hay, you lookin' fer me?

Long time no posty! Blerg, I've had a serious case of project startitis. Here it is the Summer of Socks and I am completely uninspired. I have ZERO desire to knit socks. I'm hoping my love of socks comes back before the Summer is over.

Victor has a new stall neighbor. She moved in today and her name is BJ. We are extremely glad that Victor's old neighbor, Gunner, moved out. Gunner and Victor never hit it off. Maybe because Gunner was especially fond of removing large pieces of Victor's hide. BJ is a little more subdued but Victor's still not sure ...

The first clue for the Mystery Stole 3 was posted on Friday. I'm waiting on my yarn to arrive so I've been working on Wisp. I'm about a third of the way done now that I managed to find pointy 7's. Knitting lace with needles that have rounded ends is no flippin' fun. And the pointy 7's only cost $4.85. What a lovely deal!

Victor would like to thank all the members of his fan club for their kind words and support over the last two months. He hopes you all come to visit him soon. And please bring carrots.