I Mean ... Really ...

Ahem.

There I was, sitting in my car at a red light, peacefully minding my own business. I may have been singing along with the radio. It's possible. Up walks a gentleman pushing all his worldly goods in a shopping cart.

"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?" he screams.

"Excuse me?" I reply, ever the polite Canadian.

"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?"

"Um, nothing," I answer, frantically rolling up my window.

At which point he SPIT ALL OVER MY WINDOW.

Now I don't know about America, but in Canada that behaviour would be frowned upon. I'm just saying. But if I was still in Canada, it's unlikely I would have rolled down the window as I drove off and screamed back ...

"I GIVE MONEY TO HOMELESS PEOPLE, YOU STUPID FUCK!"

Fine Then

It has come to my attention that some people feel I should be blogging more than umm ... once a week. So fine then, I'll blog twice a week. Provided someone adds an extra hour or two to each day. Frankly, you people should be happy I only blog once a week. Otherwise I might be compelled to show you pictures of stuff like this.

*Sigh* Blue Sky Worsted Hand Dyes. 50% merino, 50% alpaca. 109 yards and so squishy you wouldn't believe it. Originally bought to make a Baby Surprise Jacket, now I'm thinking it's going to be f. pea's Organic Gansey. But first, I must finish this ...

No, it's not a bib. It's the front of my MONKEE! Yes, I've given up waiting for Monkee Maker to make me a monkee and I've taken the needles into my own hands. And I am going to make a monkee. Indeed. In a new fall yarn, Cascade 220 "Paints". Note the artistic photograph. I'm knitting this on 4's so all Mr. Monkee's stuffing won't fall out but in the meantime my edges are curling like holy cow.

This isn't a new yarn, it's regular Cascade 220. It'll be Mr. Monkee's feet and hands. And his head. Err, I think. Pattern's kinda confusing.

Today's Public Service Announcement - please visit Michaela's blog. She is collecting 4" squares to assemble a blanket to sell on eBay. The money from the sale of the blanket will go towards buying a new car seat for Oliver. Click on the linky to read more about Oliver and his very brave Mum.

Now Michaela lives in England and I believe the three people who read this blog live in the United States of 'Merica. So maybe it's a bit of a hassle to mail stuff overseas. Gotta go to the post office and all that. It's probably more of a hassle to live with cerebral palsy but I digress. Here are four little words to make the trip to the P.O. easier - Jade Sapphire Mongolian Cashmere.

Make a square and mail it (details on Michaela's blog), send me an e-mail (Sakkasie@hotmail.com), for every square you make you get a chance to win I dunno, 2 or 3 skeins of cashmere. Probably three. To replace the yarn you used to make a whoppin' 4" square. We'll have a little draw on Halloween. Contest is open to everyone, regardless of where they live and how hard it is for them to get to the post office.

That Didn't Take Long

Back in March of this year, I had a slight "equestrian mishap". Doesn't that sound all sporty and athletic? "Equestrian Mishap" Anyway, long story short my foot got stuck in the stirrup and I hyper-extended my knee, no worky for a week. Or to make a short story shorter - I was a dumbass.

At the time of the incident I was riding my friend Kat's mare, Indi. Kat, who is a very worldly 17, fancies herself a barrel racer. Indi did not fancy herself a barrel horse. And as so often happens in the horse world, if the horse won't do the job, then the horse must be sold. I had planned on buying her until I found out the price was $2,000. So Indi was sold to someone else.

A month or so later, the lady who bought Indi brought her back to our ranch and said, "Nah, I don't want her." Then promptly sold her to the owner of our ranch for the princely sum of $100.

Fast forward a few months to last week. Our ranch owner decided that since Indi wasn't getting ridden she'd just throw her out in pasture and let her fend for herself.

Indi's not what you'd call a big horse. Especially compared to the other horses in the pasture. Eventually they probably would have sorted things out amongst themselves. But I would stand there every night watching Indi pace back and forth along the fence line, trying to snatch a bite of hay before she was chased off.

Indi's not the most beautiful horse in the world. She's sort of built like a bulldog, she's pigeon toed, and she doesn't have any stunning markings or coloring. She'd really prefer to spend the rest of her life either walking, or on a good day trotting, while being ridden and after being passed around all year she's a little confused. And kind of pushy. But I can be pushy too.

I'd already tried to buy Indi when she came back but the ranch owner had said no. So up the hill I marched to the ranch owner's house and said, "I'll give you $200 a month to lease Indi if you put her back in her stall. I'll exercise her every day, grain her and pay 50% of farrier and vet costs." "Deal," said the ranch owner.

And there you have the story of my IndiBooBooFuzzyFace. I'm back in the saddle and madly in love.

Full Circle

As some of you may recall, Victor has been in training for the last month or so. His trainer, Joel, is fantastic. He has brought Victor so far along that it's like watching a brand new horse. He's learned all his gaits and now Joel is working on teaching Victor his lead changes. Everything that I saw in Victor is coming to fruition under Joel's training.

And adoration? Oh my word, Victor is in LOVE with Joel. Joel doesn't even have to hold on to the lead rope and Victor simply follows him around the barn like a very LARGE puppy. Nor does Victor need to be tied when Joel is saddling him or grooming him. He stands there patiently, occasionally bending down to nibble on Joel's baseball cap. You know how sometimes you'll see an elderly couple walking down the street holding hands? Well that's what it looks like when you see Joel and Victor walking down the path together. It's like they've been together forever.

So when Joel asked me yesterday if he could buy Victor, well what could I say? Apparently Joel loves Victor just as much as Victor loves Joel. I would be hard pressed to find a more perfect match. When not training horses at the ranch, Joel fills in as a handyman. Which means they'll be together every day, all day. And Joel will be able to take Victor so much further than I'd ever be able to.

Foster a horse and find him a good home. Mission accomplished.

Still Alive. Kinda.

Err ... hi! Yes, it's me, the reluctant blogger. Or something like that. One might wonder why I even bother any pretense of keeping a blog but can I help it if I only like to blog when I have something to show? And heaven only knows, I'm the world's slowest knitter. So I've been knitting instead of blogging so as to have something to show. See the vicious circle I'm trapped in? I suppose I could post a million pictures of Victor but even that's gotta get old after a while. Right?

OK, on with the show ...

Hey, who said that? Who said, "We had to wait all bloody week for a frickin' mitten?" I bet it was that cheeky Monkee Maker. There's no pleasing some people. Anyway, yeah, it's a mitten. "Corazon" from Knitty to be exact. In Rowan's Pure Wool DK. And guess what? IT'S TOO BIG. By like an inch. So if anyone has 8 1/2" long hands, please let me know. I haven't knit the second mitten yet but once that happens, these mitts will be looking for a home. Oh. Here's the back.

I'm waiting until the second mitten is done to do the thumb. I hate doin' thumbs.

Believe it or not, I've bought next to nothing since I started working at the store. I don't know why that is, perhaps something about horses needing shoes and grain. However, today I decided to splurge a bit and bought myself this wonderful book. Hopefully it will teach me how to make mittens to fit ME. It has a ton of beautiful patterns and was well worth buying.

Hmm, I have other stuff to post about but I'm too tired to sit up any longer. Tomorrow. Ha.

Feet Don't Fail Me Now

I have survived Day 1 of the Knitting Arts Anniversary Sale.

My feet hurt. A lot. But it was a very successful day, sale wise. And when I closed out the cash register tonight we were only off by 35 cents. In our favor. I also got to draw the winning name of today's raffle prize! We're giving away a prize every day. The grand prize on the last day of the sale is an Ott floor lamp. I wish I could enter the raffle.

So ... anyway ... I may have been known to have said in the past, "I wish someone would pay me to knit."

This, knitting fans, will soon become a Parisian Beret for one of our customers. There I was sitting in the store yesterday ON MY DAY OFF doing some enforced knitting on the Sweater of Doom. In walks a lady who asks, "Do you work here?" It seemed too much trouble to explain that yes I do but not today so I just nodded. She was quite taken by one of our display hats and wondered if we had the pattern. Heck yeah we do AND we've got kits, too! Go us. Only problem, she doesn't knit. Long story short, I'm knitting it. On freakin' size 11's. I'm knitting it with two Lorna's Laces yarns, "Revelation" and "Grace". Then you thread the silk ribbon through it and la di da, throw that lady a croissant.

I think I'm getting a wee bit punchy. Time to retire to the couch because I'm back in action again tomorrow morning at 9:45. WeeEEeeEEeeEEeeEEee.