Christmas Came Early

And Santa brought me a job. A real job. One that pays more than unemployment. No, I can't believe it either. Not to mention it all transpired within a week. Last Tuesday a recruiter who I'd never worked with called me and said, "Can you be at a job interview in 90 minutes?" Please bear in mind that not only had I not showered I had at least a 30 minute drive ahead of me. But when opportunity knocks, you jump in the shower and then drive like a bat out of hell.

So I started work this week on Tuesday. The company itself has been in business over 20 years and is like the Amazon.com of scientific journals. If you want a paper written by Professor Blah Blah Blah we're the people you would order a copy from. We're located on the same grounds as the Stanford Research Institute so I feel quite academic and intellectual these days.

I'm doing accounting as usual. Sending out invoices, doing collection calls. After having been out of work for six months, I am an expert in collection calls. The only downside, if there can actually be a downside to having a job in these troubled economic times, is the commute. The office is in Menlo Park. Menlo Park is only 22 miles from my little apartment. However, it takes me a full hour to get there during rush hour. I'll get used to it, I'm sure. I've driven farther for work and that was for a job I didn't even like. This one I kinda like.

Or This One Either

This is not my cat. This is ANOTHER cat who lives in my complex. His name is Gizmo. AND he has a collar with a tag clearly identifying his owners. The name on the tag is not mine.

Gizmo comes from a not very nice home. His owner has been a guest of the California Correctional System on numerous occasions. You would probably be able to guess that by just looking at him; he's got that White Supremacist look down pat. Most people don't scare me. Gizmo's dad does.

Anyway, when "Sweet Home Alabama" starts blaring from Gizmo's apartment I know Gizmo probably won't be getting any dinner. And sure enough, when I got home tonight it was party time across the way and Gizmo was at my door. There's just one problem. Andy absolutely hates Gizmo. Which is why we see Gizmo eating on the walkway outside my apartment.

Sometimes I'll sit in the doorway and talk to Gizmo while he eats. He doesn't much like me but he does like Fancy Feast.

Last but not least, the Random Number Generator chose # 110 tonight in my Afghans For Pine Ridge CONTEST EXTRAVAGANZA. And the lucky winner was Purr (that's her Ravelry name). Congratulations Purr! Of course, the more observant of you will be chuckling that I would pick a name like "Purr" to win the contest given my apparent tendencies towards Crazy Cat Ladyhood. Please keep your giggles to yourself.

If I Repeat It Often Enough ...

... I am pretty sure it'll be true. However, when a certain little grey kitten shows up at your door in the middle of a downpour crying his heart out, what can one do? Just keep repeating my new mantra I guess.

This is not my cat on my kitchen counter. This cat still has his dingle balls. If he WERE my cat, they would be absent.

This is not my cat sitting on top of my television after polishing off two, count 'em two, cans of Fancy Feast. My cats each get half a can of Fancy Feast twice a day. I also do not open a new flavor of Fancy Feast if my cats turn their noses up at the current offering. I may have done that with this cat, which is not my cat.

This is not my cat standing on top of my television trying to catch the second hand of my wall clock. DeeDee is too fat to jump on top of the T.V. and Andy prefers to spend his time locking himself in the bathroom.

There are some things that are mine though. This is MY loaf of Honey Whole Wheat Bread that I made today. And oh my goodness, it's some tasty stuff. Cookie made some bread a few days ago and that was all the inspiration that I needed. I hadn't made bread in a while and I'd forgotten how good it was. Here's the link to the recipe that I used. I highly recommend it. Mmm ... bread. By the way, that's not my cat in any of the pictures above.

Seventy Seven

I'm sure you'll all be thrilled to hear that the Granny Square Factory is still in full operation here at Chez Insanity. I am obviously someone who gets great satisfaction from doing the same thing over and over and over ...

... which is probably why I'm an accountant. Seventy seven squares. A veritable feast of acrylic. With a few wool squares thrown in for good measure. I'm not really sure why I'm enjoying this non-stop crocheting business. I mean, it's kinda fun to see different colors put together but uhh ... well, what can I tell you. I am easily amused.

Is this a sign of the apocalypse? Vanna's Choice "yarn". In. my. apartment. Can the Red Heart be far behind? I suppose I could plead poverty here and it wouldn't be far from the truth but I can also get 11 squares from just two balls. And Michael's had it on sale this week, two balls for $5.00. And it's washable. And it comes in lots of colors! I'm so ashamed.

The sole extent of my Christmas decorating. Mr. Lights Up Snowman. Ho. Ho. Ho.

Good And Gooder

I'm no longer working at my LYS. No, I didn't get fired. The payroll service that they use charges for processing payroll based at the number of employees on the roster. With me only working 4 hours a week it didn't really make sense to keep me on. Also, I hate retail. But that's another story.

However, I am still knitting samples for the store. This is my latest project.

This, my little cherubs, is 75% bamboo, 25% nylon, machine washable and dryable. How cool is that? Finally an alternative to superwash wool for the sock wearers. The yarn is "On Your Toes" by Kertzer. I'm not super mad and crazy about this particular colorway, but I don't pick 'em, I just knit 'em. It's very squishy and soft and as we can see, has great stitch definition. The yardage is a bit skimpy (328 yards) but the price is pretty damn good ($12.95). If you didn't want a huge long cuff on your socks you could definitely get a pair out of one ball. If you're in the market for sock yarn, this one is definitely worth trying.

There's been a lot of reading going on here at Chez Insanity. Particularly in the last six months. But out of all the books I've read this year, I'm pretty sure this is going to be my favorite. Despite it's somewhat risque title and cover, this is not a book about sex and vodka. Instead, it's the story of a mother and daughter who are forced to flee Russia in the early 1900's and end up in China. In addition to being a good read, there are some interesting insights into Chinese and Russian culture. It's a love story, it's an adventure and it's on sale at Amazon, used, for $1.38. Don't blame me if you stay up all night reading.

You Say "Fate", I Say "Magical Ability"

People are blessed (or cursed) with many different abilities. Some are very talented with their hands, while others seem to be able to understand physics. Some people can sing beautifully and other people take lovely photographs. I too have a magical ability. My special skill is the ability to attract law enforcement officials ANY time I am driving my car.

Part of this ability stems from my apparent aversion to paying my registration on time. I'm really not sure what that's about. I pay other things on time, most of them monthly. But this yearly forking over of the dollars to the State Of California seems to bring out my obstinate side.

Side note - since taking pictures of law enforcement officials when they are dispensing tickets is a bit of a faux pas, please allow me to entertain you with other pictures throughout this tale.

The Kitty Bed War Continues

However, I have hit an all time record this year. I have been pulled over not once, not twice, but three times. And the year isn't over yet. In January I was pulled over for expired tags. Did this prompt me to run out the next day and pay my registration? No, it did not. I waited until March. Then in July, I achieved my all time personal best. Pulled over IN FRONT OF MY APARTMENT for expired tags, expired driver's license AND no proof of insurance. A veritable misdemeanor trifecta! Actually my license wasn't really expired. It was suspended! Yeah, April, you go girl! Why was my license suspended? Unresolved tickets for expired tags from 2004 and 2007. Can you see a pattern here?

The Fish - They're Still Alive!

This necessitated a trip to Traffic Court. That was fun, I kinda felt like I was on Law & Order. Well once that was done I went back to the DMV to get my driver's license reinstated and to get my registration current. SURPRISE!!! Two unresolved tickets for expired tags from 2003! I certainly wish that the DMV would get a little more current with their data entry.

For Pete's Sake, Enough With The Granny Squares!

So back to Traffic Court I went. Of course I had to wait until they went through everyone else because I was a "repeat offender" and was actually two cases in one. And as I was leaving the court room, the Court Deputy smiled at me and said, "Hey! Don't be a stranger!" Right. So after all of this, I figured I was done for the year. I mean, really, don't you agree that I've spent enough time in Traffic Court, talked to enough people at the DMV and been pulled over enough times to finally catch a break? No.

As I was driving home tonight, NOT TWO BLOCKS FROM MY HOME, there were those old familiar red lights in my rear view mirror. A warning notice. Rear tail light out and no proof of insurance. Am I good or what?

My Kingdom For An I

As of 4:30 PST this morning, there were 28 crochet hooks in this apartment. Including 6 - G's, 5 - F's and one P. That's a lotta hooks. Especially considering you only ever use one at a time. But was there an "I" hook anywhere in that lot? One single solitary "I" to go along with the 3 - E's? Nyet. Nada. Nope. Sure, there were 3 D's, of which two were identical Brittany Birch's. But no I's. Apparently I must have some subconscious aversion to I hooks. But I need one to make more of these ...

No, I'm not going to try and crochet a cat. More granny squares. Even though it's rather obvious I'm running out of interesting ways to photograph them. Speaking of granny squares, and really, isn't that all we've been speaking of lately, I'm holding the "Join The Afghans For Pine Ridge Reservation Ravelry Group" contest open until the 15th. Maybe announcing a contest over the Thanksgiving Day weekend wasn't one of my better ideas this year. So, to recap, simply join the aforementioned group on Ravelry and be entered to win either a $25.00 gift certificate to Webs, Elann.com or KnitPicks. You don't even have to make a square, just join the group. I mean, how easy is that? One little mouse click and you're in.

More pictures of the cat that isn't my cat. This is Thomas and his "get the hell out of my face" look. And yes, that is MY kitchen counter he's sitting on. This picture was taken shortly after I walked into the kitchen to find Thomas sitting on the hood of my little fish tank, dipping his paw in the water.

He's lucky he's so damn cute.