The Weaving Inn

Home to the knitting world's anti-Finisher. Kind of like the anti-Christ, but with a smaller following.

Saturday, December 23, 2006

Yarn Behaving Badly

In which the author provides further evidence that she is losing her grip on reality ...

Dear Yarn,

You are nothing if not sly. Oh yes, I will admit that when you first suggested yourself for the Forest Canopy Shawl I was hesitant. After all, the word "Forest" implies green and you were ... purple. A quite lovely variegated purple, but purple nevertheless. But you convinced me with your silky wool ways that you were the Forest Canopy Shawl's destiny. And I believed you. I broke with my long standing tradition of knitting in colors appropriate to a pattern's name and cast thou on.

Why then, you offspring of a sheep and a worm, do you persist in thwarting me? Is it because of the Brittany Birches I am being forced to knit you on? I agree, these are not the nicest lace knitting needles but I spent my last dime on a MIA doll and will have no more money until Thursday. Is it the constant presence of Andy, who seems reluctant to acknowledge your divine and sole right to my lap? Is this why you've been wrapping yourself around my legs every time I get off the couch to get a cup of tea?

And pray tell, what is the point of dropping and adding stitches randomly on every single frickin' row? Are you some kind of BDSM yarn that enjoys the pain of being ripped out repeatedly? Or could it be that you are just so arrogant that you think you're the only skein in the stash? Think again, moth magnet. Cast your plied eyes on this ...

Yarn Pirate's "String Theory." From the always overly generous, Valerie. Look a little closer won't you? That's purple AND green. Together. In one yarn. Wouldn't you agree, 'O Yarn Of Disgrace, that this would also make a lovely Forest Canopy Shawl? Huh? Worried? You should be.

Which leads me to this. You and I, we need some time apart. Perhaps I will again find the love I once had for you. The joy in your sheen that warmed my heart. The softness that made my fingers sing.

Enjoy your stay at the bottom of my knitting bag. And do say hello to the stitch markers for me. You've been replaced.


  • At 4:20 PM, Blogger trek said…

    If you are working on a size 5, I can send you a Crystal Palace Bamboo circ.

    Also, Number Guy and I thought that "moth magnet" was hysterically funny.

  • At 4:29 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Training yarn is like training dogs. It doesn't pay to forget who is the master. It will rethink it's ways and be better behaved in the next project.

    I am The Yarn Whisperer...

  • At 4:53 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Sometimes a yarn just needs a timeout! Obviously, this is one of those times. Perhaps when you decide to allow it out of the bottom of the bag, it will have learned a lesson and behave the way a proper yarn should!


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