About A Butt

Disclaimer: The photographs in this post have nothing to do with the content of this post. However, since the post is about my butt, you should be thankful.

I ask you, is there anything more alluring than a 50 year old woman with an ice pack shoved down the back of her panties? I think I can safely say that Cindy Crawford has nothing on me. My sciatica has been acting up. Fiercely.

I've always thought of sciatica as an old person's malady. And I suppose 50 is kind of old. But I've had this goin' on since 2005 when I fell down a gravel hill carrying a big bucket of horse poop. I was only 45 then! That's not old. I've kind of learned to live with it. Now and again it flares up but it usually goes away.

Unfortunately it's been flared up for about a year now. I'm at the point now where I can't stand for more than five minutes. Have I done anything about this? Well I did take some cortisone pills for five days. That helped for about a month. I was supposed to go to physical therapy but uhh, that didn't quite happen. It's gone away before, why wasn't it going away this time?!?!?

Things finally came to a head this weekend. I was sitting on the couch, something I'm quite accomplished at doing, and I was knitting. My butt started to hurt. And let me tell you, that was the defining moment in my war against my sciatica. If I couldn't sit on the couch and knit, life wasn't worth living. So I took myself off to see my wonderful massage therapist yesterday and she launched a full fingered attack on my rear. Anyway, for all you people out there thinking, "Oh how nice, a lovely, relaxing massage at the end of the day" let me tell you, I had to lie there for five minutes after she finished before I could get up.

That is the story of my butt. Now all I need to do is go out and buy a pillow. Apparently the last year that I've spent sitting on the bathroom floor watching my rats play every night is a good part of the reason why my sciatica has been so bad. Hard floor plus sciatica equals ouch. If anyone knows where I can buy rat proof pillows please let me know.