Up, Up And WALL

As we all know, I work at the most hideous job imaginable. I don't mind doing accounting, it's something you can pretty much do on autopilot which leaves lot of time to daydream. I like to daydream. But what I don't like is the two hours a day I spend commuting and the insane people I am forced to work with.

I like to write. A lot. I've written a few articles in my time and, believe it or not, been paid for them. Not much, but enough. So in an effort to get out of this hell hole, I've decided to restart my freelance writing career (and I use the term "career" VERY loosely).

Yesterday I applied for a contract job working as a copywriter for an online company called InteractMedia. Part of the application process was to write 500 words or more on something you considered yourself an expert on. The only thing I'm really an expert on is fish. Not the kind you eat, the kind you keep as pets. Perhaps you've come across my ground breaking work, "Goldfish - Beyond The Bowl"? How about "The World Of Siamese Fighting Fish"? No? OK, well whatever.

Once you submit your article, the nice people at InteractMedia will read it and a) decide if they want you and b) assign a rating out of 5 stars to your article. Thankfully I passed the test. Annoyingly, they only gave Guppies Are Great 3 out of 5 stars. Forkers. That article was EPIC. Someone suggested that perhaps the nice people at InteractMedia don't care for guppies. I think I should have included more sex.

So every day you're supposed to check the Job Board to see what's available. There I was, all keen and ready to go and .... there are no jobs. None. Nada. How rude is that? Then I went over to another website where I'm also a "Content Producer". All they want are articles on how to increase the size of your penis. I'm not really an expert on that. Needless to say I'm sorta stuck right now. I will persevere though! Stay tuned for exciting developments. And if anyone out there knows how to increase the size of your penis, please feel free to shoot me an email.