What I've Learned
1) Apparently the law that prohibits being on crutches AND having intestinal difficulties at the same time has not been passed. However, you will become quite adept at using your crutches.
2) Vicodin makes me very, very ill, even on a full stomach.
3) I'm glad I have a small apartment.
4) A chair with wheels substitutes quite nicely for crutches.
5) Wilma does not appreciate having her tail run over by the above referenced "wheelie chair."
6) Friends will bring you food and drink if you're immobilized. Apparently all you have to do is ASK.
7) The promise of a big tip will inspire the pizza delivery man to get you a Diet Coke out of your fridge.
8) Knitting while being horribly nauseous does not work for me.
9) Trying to go backwards while on crutches is not a good idea. Unless there's something on the floor that you wanted a closer look at.
Things I learned between 5:30am and 10am this morning -
1) 5:30am is the best time to visit the ER.
2) You can go to the ER as many times as you like!
3) Percocet is a fine, fine drug.
4) I'm allergic to anti-nausea medication.
5) My new best friend is a knee immobilizer.
6) Saying, "I bet you've seen a lot of butts in your time, eh?" to the gay male nurse who's about to stick a needle in your bum is not a good idea.
7) Blogging while under the influence of pain medication takes quite a bit longer than normal.